HIYA!
Waddup internet friendsies?! Oh yes, the holidays have been good to me and I sure do hope that everyone feels the same. The first week is always piled with extra classes and CCA but its okay, you have 3 more weeks! And so today I really wanted to blog but I didn't really know what to blog about so here I am, deciding to blog about random stuff that has happened recently!
Yes, I did just say the word 'blog' 3 times in one sentence.
ANYWAYS, some of you might have seen my hate on askfm and... yea xD
But I just wanted to thank all the really really sweet people who stood up for me. You guys honestly have no idea how much it means to me to say all those really sweet things and it just warms my heart. All your comments have provided comfort and a sense of security for me.
I'm not really that affected by the hate. I have realised that I seem to be processing things slower recently and I don't know, I just don't really care about the haters. And I feel kinda weird because I'm usually the type of person to overthink everything and take in everyone's opinion on me. But I'm not complaining haha!
So yes, also a little shoutout to a really nice reader on my askfm. You know who you are (: And thank you. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my blog, even when it's just a platform for me and the documentation of my life.
Another thing that I've been going through lately is some friend thing and I will not name the person. But I have had a lot of self-discovery recently and I have realised a lot about myself. But of course, there are some things that I can never figure out. I don't know, my brain just works that way I guess. And I don't know whether I should be blogging about this but I think I will just because I'm really really hoping someone out there actually understands what I'm going through. And if there is... well... thank god you're not alone.
But yea... I've been feeling really insecure around a friend... sometimes a group of friends recently. And I think it's going to be a little too obvious but whatever. And I keep trying to tell myself that it is me overthinking things. But I know in my heart that I'm not - even though I am a crazy over thinker most times. I love that group of people but I don't know them well. I don't know much about them at all. And I don't think it should be that way. I should spend time with them, individually, and truly get to know them. Not because two of my pretty close friends are really good friends with them.
And I've also strayed away from one of my close friends. I don't quite know why yet. I mean I don't know how to say it but I feel like it would be better if we were not that close. I know it sounds so stupid but thats genuinely what I think. Because I feel like I can't communicate with her. And maybe it's just me being stubborn and annoying. But it turned out the wrong way. It was so awkward. And I didn't want it to be. I just wanted it to be the same... just that there's more space.
I don't really know what I'm looking for. It's really frustrating trying to figure out my thoughts.
Also... I feel like ever since that happened... the people that I thought were going to be there for me... just weren't. And that's sad. I tell myself that now I know who my true friends are. But still... it's sad.
WOW it's getting deep can you even see me anymore? haha!
Anyways yea thats my little chit chat with you guys since I feel like i haven't done one in a while now. Thanks for reading peeps!
Much Love!
Signing off...
CLL
No comments:
Post a Comment