& i am left with nightmares again.
nine years old & the bleakness of my dreams,
rain,
& the sound of your footsteps as you turn away.
i am host to a most terrifying disease;
Fear, you breed & take your tine.
in its grasp, i writhe & struggle
it makes myself the ultimate enemy.
every minute a trial, each time a choice:
to stay or to go
& which one to less destruction?
so your hands will turn purple,
grow scratched and bruised
what once was our embrace
i'd think an awaiting disaster.
a nuclear tragedy between two bodies
a cut here and bruise there
cannot compare to radioactivity.
my skin is toxic,
my words– a miasma of broken memories.
your blood of my hand
i wipe from my eyes,
but soon you will cease bleeding
while i hope to grow numb.
i am sorry but to go is best.
i am sorry but to go is best.
i am sorry but to go
i am sorry but to go
i am sorry but
i am sorry
i am sorry but please
.
love, cll
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