Trust.

Trust is something so fragile.

It's hard to earn and so easily broken. Just like how a crumpled piece of paper can never truly have the same, smooth surface it once had. And today I'm going to be writing about this topic because of its value in my life as well as to all of yours. Because trust is something we can knowingly AND unknowingly give and it's only when we get hurt do we realise the amount of trust we have given to someone. 

I have major trust issues. No joke. And honestly, I don't really know how it feels to trust someone. Maybe it's my constant overthinking and paranoid nature that prevents me from trusting. Or maybe I just haven't met the right people.

Of course there are a few people that I have a certain amount of trust in. But even then I don't have 100% faith in them. Faith and Trust are different things. I can trust them and talk to them. But I might not have the faith and confidence in them to be sure that they will not walk away. Just like every person in my life has to leave at some point. 

I know I'm confusing you so much at this point sorry HAHA but try to bear with me.

Anyways, I think all of us have certain reasons as to why we trust and don't trust someone. Sometimes its because of something they did before. Because as true as it is, we forgive but we never forget. Sometimes it's just the vibe they give or a feeling in our bones that rebels against them. Well, at least thats the case for me.

And since ages ago I have always been telling myself and blogging to 'Trust Yourself'. And I have realised that slowly, I'm beginning to do just that. And in turn, I understand myself. I understand why I do certain things and don't do other things. Sometimes I get so confused and ask myself 'Why did I do that?' or 'Why didn't I do that?'. And even when I do have the second chance to do whatever it is I SHOULD'VE done, I don't do it. Sometimes its because I'm a coward, sometimes because I don't see a person that day, sometimes because I just don't feel like it. Ya know, various reasons. 

But you see, life is incredible that way.

Life has this way of making everything we do have a purpose. I'm technically a free thinker. But I believe in fate and destiny. I also believe in choices. It's our choices that shape how our path of fate goes. But no matter what, every choice we make has a purpose. And sometimes the end result is amazing and just what we needed in life. But sometimes it makes us get into a worst state. But then again, we make choices as to how we deal with this state that we are in. And most of the time, it ends up having a beautiful purpose once again. 

Here are my 2 philosophies on trust.

1) Trust Yourself.

It's okay that maybe you haven't found the right people. It's okay that you can't seem to have anyone to share your problems with yet. If you feel like you can trust someone, go for it. Trust them with all your heart. It might have good or bad consequences but it's okay because at least you listened to yourself and at least you know that you're capable of trusting. But before anything else, trust yourself. Give a 100% faith AND trust in yourself. Because you will never walk away from you. And you know that everything is guaranteed with you. You can trust no one until you can fully trust yourself.

2) Trust Fate.

Take a leap of faith. Give it your all and fall down. Give it your all, fall down and suffer a bruise. Give it your all, fall down, suffer a bruise... Then get up. Follow your heart. Understand that whatever you are doing now has a purpose. It might be to save you because you are making the wrong choice. It might be to teach you a valuable lesson. But trust fate a little. Trust that this is what it is and that this has a purpose. I THOUGHT I trusted someone so much. Because thats what best friends do right we trust each other. I thought she was the solution to all my problems I thought she would have the ability to help me. I wanted to tell her why I was so upset, I wanted to rant to her about the world. But I didn't. Now I realise, I didn't because I never trusted her in the first place. 

So yes. That's that hahahahahahaha
Thanks for reading ((:

Signing off...
CLL