My heavy heart.
I had pushed this away, I have tried so hard.
I almost succeeded, thought it could not affect me anymore.
Almost came to the conclusion that it was unnecessary,
a distraction,
that could so easily walk out the door.
I convinced myself I couldn't be bothered.
I convinced myself I'd be okay.
But then it all came flooding back,
the fuzzy night yesterday.
It came back full force.
Burning me in its wrath.
Shocking me into reality,
that this will not last.
What worse to know than that,
when you feel so much for what it has or had,
I say 'it',
probably because I still can't face the facts.
What will I do now?
When your heart says yes,
but your mind says no.
& when even it,
doesn't know anymore.
I struggle to figure myself out.
In this situation frowned upon.
Am I expecting too much,
I can no longer walk out that door.
My heavy heart,
Oh what will I do with you?
x
27.12.15
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