The Head and The Heart

I feel boxed in. I can barely breathe.
Every instance of every day, held against me.
If I did the work– the right work, enough of it.
Each slip in conduct, indicators of my entire being.

It is a microcosm of so many things.
One wrong word held against you forever,
A diseased part that consumes you
By society, not the sickness itself.

It is an epidemic,
A civilisation of extremes and generalisations.

And so they come to the decision
That the brain is the grail
Instead of the heart.



I feel it pounding inside my chest
Scratching against the walls of my ribs
Begging for it to somehow be seen.

Oh heart, but you are fraught with so many things.
To put you up would be to serve you on a chopping board,
Your river-flowing veins run dry.
And no matter how hard you try,
You will never quench the likings of all in the city.
And you should know... why won't you learn?
Parts of you have become brittle
Sprinting in all directions for all seven billion people.



xx, CLL

Is there a place for me?

Dear you,

I wonder if there is a place for me there. No, not the flashing lights and the golden figures–– my dreams are a little smaller. I wonder if it could be to make the circle of the lens a new home, I wonder if it could be the spotlight tracing my footsteps across the stage. I wonder if dresses would be made for me, and if my eyes could tell stories that perk the ears of forgotten hearts.
It is a dream I pursue but am terrified of. I wonder if you know how much I want it. I only spread indifference over it because of the mere fact that indifference is not a possibility. Is there a place for me? Despite the parts I turn away from, despite the weaknesses I cannot change, will there be love for me there, where I tread towards, heart precariously balanced on the swaying foundations of hope?


Love,
CLL

I just want to listen to the rain.

No other melody or beat,

How it sings me to sleep.

You're glass and granite.

I wonder if you know that for all the steel I present the sun, I still break between your index and your thumb.