It's been a while, hasn't it?
Blogging seems like such an unfamiliar concept now, but I've come back for it in hope that I'll retrieve something I once had. Right now, it almost feels like I'm just living because I need to live, and for particular reasons. Fixed, definite, tangible, visual, describable reasons.
I stopped writing for a long, long period of time because a pragmatic side of me was saying that writing is not at the top of your list for things to do. Writing is a hobby you enjoy doing, but you have math homework and a biology test and a chinese exam. You can put it aside. Maybe one day, you'll find the time.
The difference between "Need" and "Want" has been distinctly established for my whole life. Spend on what you need, less on what you want. Do you need that?
And yes, at first glance, writing is a want. I had a longing to write. I loved to write. I don't know when or where I learned that what I love is wrong, what I love is a guilty pleasure, what I love calls for regret. Why didn't I realise sooner that writing was a need too?
What you love, is what you need.
What you love keeps you alive. What you love keeps you sane, it keeps you kickin and runnin.
I'm constantly making lists of things that are more important or things that I have to do more than other things I have to do either way. I guess they call it prioritising. Most of the time, this ultimately leaves the things that are not 'needed' in the conventional way, stuck in that corner of your room, the only corner that is neat because you barely go there.
There's a part of me that still has passion for this, for writing. But I am also so aware of the lack of it.
I have dismissed it far too many times, decided it was not important enough and was acceptable to leave on the backburner.
The things seemingly unimportant at the present time, may actually be a piece of your thousand piece puzzle, without it, your picture is not complete, without it, your building is not stable, without it you are not fully you. Perhaps, another piece would emerge, like lava between the cracks, but some things cannot be replaced, without changing the overall person to be ahead.
